newsletter

Autumn is a period of harvest, a season to reap the rewards of our labor. The highlight of my autumn was an unexpected trip to Botswana, where I was met with celebration. After over two decades toiling in school, my community had gathered to mark the end of a journey - my graduation from graduate school. I also got to hop over to Canada on a little getaway with the madam, then wrapped up the year with a lot of dinner parties and abundant libations. It is fair to say, in gratitude to all that my soul holds holy and divine, it was a plentiful harvest this past year! Now onto the seasonal updates per pillar of my life priorities. 

Personal Development: This fall I was confronted with questions regarding the integrity of my conception of self. Following the completion of my first memoir, I found myself reflecting on the meaning of home as a spiritual concept. What does it mean to be home in a place, in the presence of others, and in a time period? Greater still, what does it mean to be at home within oneself? I learned that although I have graduated from regular visits to my therapist, the journey of healing is not one that ends. I was reminded that I will continue to relapse back to behavior patterns that do not serve the person I am trying to be, but that in those moments I will need to love myself harder and extend myself enough compassion to remember that I will fall short, but I should always keep trying. I am thankful to the Homecoming Podcast with Dr Thema for continuing to provide reflection points and prompts as I continue on this journey of healing. 

Meaningful Communities: Being in Botswana amongst my community, the reflection on the idea of home as a place and time, and home as people continued. Driving on the left side felt unnatural, although not too long ago it was my only reality. Except for Chicken Licken, every other food that I had missed and craved for so long did not resonate the same way. The scorching sun was too unbearable and so it was clear as day that home is not necessarily a place. I was pleased, however, to realize that the presence of my friends and family quenched a certain craving for community. As such, home is definitely the people. I got to reacquaint with some of my friends, after coming to the realization that I do not know the adults they have become and they in turn do not know the man I am. To reintroduce oneself to his kin from a time and place past, and still resonate at the same frequency is a blessing. I am blessed. 

While in Botswana, I paid my respects to the final resting places of my family's ancestors, whose collective consciousness continue to clear my path. I will continue to visit as often as I can because it is nurturing to my soul and spirit. The reflection on home as people continued after my return to California. Dinners I was invited to and dinners I hosted revealed to me that I have managed to build myself some community out here as well, and so in the presence of these people I feel home too. If only there could be a world where all the people I consider home could be in the same geographic location, oh that would be paradise! Perhaps when I am reunited with the collective consciousness of ancestors, outside of my physical form, then perhaps I would be truly home within myself and with my community. 

Professional Excellence: Autumn at work came with performance reviews and I was beyond satisfied with mine. I had exceeded expectations. It is gratifying to know I am doing a great job and adding value to the work that my team does. How did I get lucky to start my working life with my dream job? I am doing great things working on cutting edge technology, in a company that has a great culture, and learning a lot. The thing that excited me the most from my performance review meeting was all that I still have to learn. When next autumn comes through, "there is a million things I haven't done, just you wait..." Outside of performance reviews, I started in a new role at the company and I am proud of the way I have helped shape the position. More importantly, I am impressed by how Management Science and Engineering prepared me for this job - even the classes I thought were fuzzy and not as important, like Leading Organizational Change. I am thankful.

Financial Sustainability: Well the holiday season is an enemy of financial progress, am I right? This is perhaps the one pillar where I am performing below targets. While I will continue to prioritize spending on experiences that enable me to reparent myself, I will otherwise be very frugal in 2022 as I return to compliance with my established financial standards on spending, saving, and investing. This is necessary also because 2022 is important for some personal projects that are capital intensive. During this period of austerity, Personal Development shall remain at Priority 1 spending level while Professional Development and Meaningful Communities shall be assigned to spending level Priorities 4 and 5, respectively. After all, one cannot pour from an empty cup, right?

In conclusion, fall was great and had abundant blessings. But there is a need for better stewardship on my part. Here is to a great winter season and the rest of the new year. Until the next update, remember to stay hydrated and mind your business. 

We are over a month into fall, which means my reflections on the summer of this year are overdue. But I have a very good reason for this tardiness - and I can express it in over 70,000 words. This summer marked the beginning of my adult life. For the first time in my life, I do not have the safe structure of school to organize my life and give a predictable cadence to the flow of things. At first I was nervous, unsure of how life in the real world would unfold. Those who are blessed with the privilege to witness my journey from the front row can attest it was probably the hardest season of my life. But if this summer is any hint of what life could be, then I am excited for what I am going to make of my life. As usual, the reflection is broken down into the four pillars that guide my goal setting. 

Personal Development: For a large part of summer and a bit of fall, I was busy working on a personal project that I have put off for years. As a result, I barely had enough time outside of work to cook. I value cooking because I find it therapeutic and nourishing - both for my body and my spirit as I often share the meals I make with people close to my heart. I was also not able to journal as much, with most of my words used up by my project. Despite this, I continued to make strides in my long-term personal development goal: to be the embodiment of loving kindness to myself, my loved ones, and humanity. In this season,  I learned that part of loving myself include prioritizing my needs over those of others and letting my loved ones show up for me. I feel grateful to have such loved ones whose encouragement gave me the motivation to see the project through. 

Meaningful Communities: It has been great resuming in-person activities. Especially now living in San Francisco and having easy access to Oakland. This summer I continued to live out my days of youth with some of the people who are close to me. The highlights include attending an underwhelming food market in Berkeley, a block party in Oakland, and - of course - Lost in Riddim in Sacramento. To be able to spend time with some of my favorite people in the whole world has been a blessing. At the same time, over the past few months I have felt suffocated by homesickness. It is not good for my soul to go so long without going home. I realize now that I am at my best with regular doses of home. To breathe the sweet air carried by the currents from the Drakensburg Mountains, feel the scorching heat intensified by the rocky hills in Kanye, and hear the sweet sound of Setswana all around me. It is for this reason that I have gone back on my previous quarter's resolution to discontinue my WhatsApp sharing. Thankfully, I will get to experience all of this very soon. 

Professional Excellence: In the summer I started my full time work at Krikey as an Associate Product Manager. I have my dream job. In 2020, I shared my vision for what my dream job looks like, and I have fond it. The factors I had included were the potential to learn and grow; work-life balance; collaboration and team spirit; impact potential; and fair compensation. I love being a part of a company that feels like a family. I also have the best boss in the world, who provides room for me to shine while providing the necessary mentorship and support to help me thrive. I realize that this goal of professional excellence can also be expressed as a commitment to delight my stakeholders. My approach to work is to deliver the most value that I can to all the people who depend on me. Although I have been there for almost 3 months, I have been entrusted with high responsibility tasks and I am grateful. I am excited to continue growing at Krikey and delighting my customers. Now it all makes sense why all the other roles and companies did not work out - the divine had the perfect role for me. 

Financial Sustainability: In the summer this goal suffered the most. Putting myself through graduate school was not a walk in the park - and I am grateful to all whose generosity saw me through that season. Unsurprisingly, the transition from graduate school to working full time has come with some implications for this goal. I am proud to say that I am in the second phase of implementing my Financial Policy. I continue to prioritize goals 4.1 and 4.2 over 4.3. I fell behind on keeping the relevant records updated, but now that my project is done I will focus the remainder of autumn returning to compliance. All in all, I am satisfied with my progress in this area. I think I am approaching the equilibrium solution in the optimization problem of balancing present utility with expected future utility.

In conclusion, summer and early fall were lit! I am still receiving recommendations for new hobbies to try out. If you are in the San Francisco Bay Area, please share any cool activities happening. I am committed to living up my youth now. Until next time, let's be more present in our daily lives and open ourselves to the miracle of love. Here is to more music, more fine dining,  and definitely more dressing up!!

As Q2 of 2021 draws to a close, I have a lot to celebrate. There has been numerous wins across various areas of my life. Most notably, I have finally gotten my driving license after years of procrastinating on it, I secured my dream job, and I have graduated with my second engineering degree from one of the best universities in the world. I could not be more thankful for all the fortune that continues to flow into my life. There are so many people who have carried me thus far and I recently made an attempt to express my gratitude. No amount of words can ever fully capture the gratitude but it was a worthy attempt. As usual, I reflect on Q2 using my four pillars as an organizing framework. 

Personal Development: I continue to eat well, stay active, and get sufficient rest. Thanks to my current down time as I wait to start my full-time job, I have even started taking day time naps. Naps are golden! The greatest achievement from Q2 in this area comes from developing a personal ethical code that I shall use to guide the decisions I make. This process forced me to refine and defend my values and aspirations. It is my best reflective and aspirational piece yet. It goes beyond outlining what actions by me I consider ethically permissible and ethically impermissible. It also prescribes actions I will take to make it more likely that I will behave ethically and reduce the temptation to be unethical. I know the document will continue to evolve over time, but I am satisfied with where it is at the moment. I am also glad it helped provide more clarity and specificity with respect to some of the goals I have under my current life goals. 

Meaningful Communities: Following a successful vaccine rollout here in California, things are more or less back to normal. During Q2, I slowly resumed a few of my in-person social activities including weekly hikes, hosting dinners, and attending a few social gatherings. After an eternity of life under lockdown, it has been refreshing to see loved ones again and engage in some of my favorite recreational activities. I have also began regular check-ins with some of my closest friends. These check-ins have helped ease the readjustment following the end of my 5 year therapy journey at the end of Q1. As I transition into the next phase of my life, I am rethinking my social policy. I am allowing myself to cut back on quantity in order to invest more in quality of relationships. It is in that same spirit that I have resolved to discontinue my WhatsApp and FB stories. It has been fun being a WhatsApp influencer. Thank you to everyone who has kept up with my content. I will continue to write on my blogs from time to time, but I will not post those to my WhatsApp anymore. Those who wish to keep up will have to proactively check my website.

Professional Excellence: It is old news by now that I have finished school for life and will be joining Krikey as an Associate Product Manager in a few days. I will reflect soon on the job search but a key reminder from it was that sometimes things do not work out for a great reason. It was easy to be sad in the moment when the jobs I was applying to did not work out, but the truth of the matter is most of them were not aligned with what I was looking for. As I have said over and over again, I aspire to help organizations build products for sustainability and impact by enabling them to make better decisions. Krikey and the role provide exactly that. On top of that, I loved the team the most of all the teams I have met throughout this process. This promises to be the beginning of a great career. As I wrapped up my degree this Q2, I made sure to challenge myself to the fullest in my selection of classes and the ways in which I applied myself. I want my name to be synonymous with high quality work in everything that I touch. Q2 has been great and Q3 is going to be even greater under this pillar as I lay down the foundation for a great career ahead.

Financial Sustainability: In Q2, I made modest progress in my goals under this pillar. One of my biggest achievements in this area has been setting and sticking to boundaries. My newly drafted ethical code has provided clarity with respect to goal 4.3, which makes it easy to implement the boundaries I have established in these matters. This is especially important as goals 4.1 and 4.2 take precedence in this new chapter of my life. Q2 has also been a time to consolidate and interpret my financial data from the past 3 years. In a lot of ways, the past 3 years have been an opportunity to test and iteratively refine my financial policy. So far, the experiment has succeeded - with a few opportunities for growth. As I look to Q3 and beyond, I am excited to implement the refined policy as I work towards my goals under this pillar. Generally speaking, Q3 will serve as a transitionary period as I adjust to the new financial policy. 

In all, the second quarter of 2021 has been great and I am on progress on most of my goals. This next chapter is going to be the best one yet. I look forward to getting my own place, living life more since the world (this side at least) is reopening, and becoming the best Product Manager the world has ever known. Until then, I will wrap up the rest of Q2 with more reading, more movies, and more naps. 

As I sit down to reflect on Q1 of 2021, spring is already here in California. The cold temperatures are slowly disappearing, the days are getting longer, and - my favorite - flowers are in bloom. It is the second day of the final quarter I will enroll at Stanford, but a day before the end of the first actual quarter of the year. As usual, it is the ever present play on beginnings and endings. I am excited to share some reflections on where I am this first quarter with respect to the four pillars I have organized my life around. These pillars are: 1. To develop myself; 2. To build meaningful relationships; 3. To pursue professional excellence; and 4. To cultivate financial sustainability. 

I am pleased to report that I continue to successfully lead a healthful life that is sustained by a nutritious diet, an active lifestyle, and sufficient rest. I have made eating well a priority in my life. As I reflect in a recent blog post, eating well to me means eating food that is on average nutritionally balanced, tasty, and shared with good company. Food and meal times continue to be great sources of joy in my life. One of the things I have enjoyed since being in graduate school is an improvement in the quantity of sleep I am able to get. I have been able to get at least seven hours of sleep a night over the past quarter. 

For a huge portion of the pandemic, I was struggling to lead an active lifestyle. I no longer biked to and around campus daily nor went on weekly hikes around the Stanford Dish with my dear friend SG. But over the past quarter, even with the bitter California winter, I resumed regular physical activity. To incentivize myself to bike the fourteen kilometer roundtrip to the university, I opted into the twice weekly COVID-19 tests that Stanford offers for their community members. On the 3 other weekdays, I walk around my neighborhood for about half an hour in the morning and then engage in some strength exercises. Starting my days this way has significantly improved my quality of life. With both SG and I about to be fully vaccinated soon, the weekly Stanford Dish hikes are about to return. 

At the beginning of Q1, I began the process to wrap up my 5 year therapy journey. I reflected on that journey in this blog post. I feel lucky to have had such a great therapist with whom I could cultivate such a space where I could safely open the hood and work through the various traumas of my life. Through this process, I have been able to learn to forgive myself and others for the ways they have hurt me. I have been able to celebrate the love of those I lost as I navigated unimaginable grief.  I have been able to learn to let go and close doors that needed closing. I have developed high standards for how others can treat me and have decided to make my life an example of how things can look like if we nurture our love more than our violence. 

A key goal I have under the pillar of Meaningful Communities is to develop and sustain meaningful relationships that are characterized by the mutual commitment to the spiritual growth of one another. Over the past quarter I have thought a lot about the phrases "mutual commitment" and "spiritual growth". In those reflections, which were also tied to grieving the loss of a set of relationships that were lost recently, I realized that I have a tendency to want to hold on to relationships forever. It is great when relationships are able to endure for all of time, like my friendship with GM, but it is important to be comfortable with certain relationships being seasonal. I have spent the past quarter asking the questions: Which of my friendships are seasonal and in which people's lives should my presence be seasonal? This continues to be an active area of growth for me. 

Another related goal is to actively do my part in the advancement of the marginalized communities to which I have pledged my allegiance. One such community is students from low-income backgrounds in Botswana. Over the past quarter I have leveraged my position on the United World College National Committee for Botswana to help ensure we are able to resume selecting students from Botswana and nominating them to UWC schools around the world. I am pleased we will be sending some students this year, and a huge part of that is due to the tireless work of my colleague RP. As I look forward to the coming transitions in my life, I realize I am going to have to play lesser of a role on the committee but I am committed to working hard to help set them on a sustainable path. I have big aspirations for UWC in Botswana. 

On a more personal level, I have continued to try and offer mentorship to recent BGCSE graduates as they navigate university applications or other post-secondary opportunities. It became clear that it would not be sustainable to single-handedly advice every single student who reached out, especially since most of their concerns are similar. In the interim, I started a limited conversation series on my Facebook page to profile a few Batswana youth who have successfully navigated university applications from Botswana. I hope in the long run someone will fill this gap on a more sustained basis. The series is still ongoing, but so far I have had the honor of interviewing Chilo Ketlhoafetse, Gorata Goitseone Ranama, and Yvette Matshameko. My own journey is also out there, having been interviewed by Avthar for his Learn With Avthar Podcast, Emang for her Creo scholarships consultancy platform, and Mostakim on his podcast The Scholar and The Student. If we add the TEDx talk I gave a few years ago, I think that is enough profiles of me out there for a while. 

My job search in this first quarter has continued to bear no fruits. I had forgotten how disheartening the season of waiting can be for an individual. But I am continuing to learn a thing or two. There were moments during Q1 where I was overcome with despair over the situation, but the amazing people who continue to support me have really carried me through. I cannot thank them enough, for their words of encouragement, for their actionable feedback, for reviewing my application materials, for practicing for interviews with me, and especially for listening when I needed a listening ear. Now that the spring recruitment season is picking up and there is some light at the end of the pandemic tunnel, I am optimistic and even more excited to resume the search with new energy. I am confident my talents will find a home soon. Throughout this job search, I have come to realize my general professional aspiration is to help people and organizations make better decisions.

In as far as continuously equipping myself with the skills and experiences needed to excel at the work I do, I was enrolled in MS&E 265: Product Management, MS&E 292: Health Policy Modeling, and MS&E 332: Network Risk & Security. I most enjoyed MS&E 332 because Nick Bambos exposed us to the latest research in the field of risk and security of computer networks. In my usual creative style, for my contribution to the class, I imagined ways to apply the cutting edge research from computer networks to a different domain. I started imagining how we can use those concepts to think about supply chain risk management. I am continuing that work this quarter in EE 384S: Performance Engineering of Computer Systems & Networks. 

MS&E 265 was an interesting experience. On the one hand I was blessed with an amazing discussion team but on the other hand my project team left a lot to be desired. The irony of it is the discussion team was randomly assigned and the project team I more or less hand-picked. What are the odds that the team would experience a series of life changing events in their personal lives that would significantly delay the project? I like to believe that this is not a reflection on my ability to pick winning teams. I enjoyed 292 because of my study group, and especially enjoyed learning about health policy modeling. I wrote a final paper assessing factors that limit the clinical adoption of Bayesian Network models. 

All in all, Q1 was a success. I look forward to Q2 with even more optimism. In a few weeks I will receive my second dose of the Moderna covid-19 vaccine, I have a few job interviews coming up, and I am excited to take my final set of classes. There is light at the end of the tunnel. 

In my teen years, I admired Lil Wayne for his lyricism. He once rapped, "Every finish line is the beginning of a new race." That perfectly sums up my October: a mix of beginnings and endings. It has been a fascinating experience to hold both joy and sorrow simultaneously, as has been to hold both excitement and fear. In the midst of all this transitional turmoil, I have never felt more alive. To live is to be present in all the highs and the lows of life. October made me realize the value of the relationships I have in my life.

I begin with my ongoing job search. On the one hand, I continue to enjoy interviewing with companies and demonstrating my problem solving competence. It is fulfilling to discover that my education has not been entirely useless as I adapt various tools I have learned over the years to solve real world problems. This affirms the choices I made with respect to my field of study. That notwithstanding, the recruitment process is brutal and heartbreaking. I used to think there was no rejection more painful than that of your crush not liking you back, but I was wrong.  Outright rejections are disappointing, but not painful. Being rejected by a company after multiple rounds of interviews is the worst. The more rounds I complete with a company, the more emotionally invested I become and the worse the rejection feels. But as a wise person remarked, we have to feel the hurt, rise up, and learn to love again. As I love again, I have a good feeling about my candidacy at one of the places I am hoping to work at. Fingers crossed...

Interpersonal relationships have mattered a lot this year, especially in the context of the pandemic and the associated isolation. I was reminded during the month of October that I am not entitled to my friends, it is a privilege to have access to them. A privilege that I am deserving of, but not necessarily entitled to. It has been a mental breakthrough to separate the idea of entitlement to people's attention and affection from deserving their attention and affection. They can and should decide when and how to give that attention and affection. As I navigate numerous transitions in my life, my heart is full of gratitude for those friends whose attention and affection eases the process: from those helping me prepare for my job interviews, to those sitting with me through heartbreaking moments. Similarly, I realize that it is a privilege for others to have access to my attention and affection. As I continue to learn of the importance of asserting and respecting boundaries in healthy relationships, I feel empowered to know I can choose who gets my attention and affection. It might seem trivial, but the implications of this for my life are profound.

Familial relationships have also featured a lot in recent months. One of the major transitions I am having to navigate has to do with the aging and slow demise of some of the people closest to my heart. On that front, October has been a heart breaking month. I have never felt as powerless as I do being so far from home and unable to at least do my part in caring for them and making them as comfortable as possible during this last phase of their journey. Especially, with respect to my mother, who has sacrificed a whole lot and more for my comfort and success. But of course, what would I do if I were home? It is not like I would be able to do what my sister does - for which I am ashamed. Questions of disease and end of life care make being a nomad a tough way to live. But the alternative is no better. I continue to reflect on the tradeoff between the interests of the collective and of the self. 

I end this update on a positive note - October came with the wedding of one of my favorite people in the whole world: JC. I would not have missed it for anything in the world. You should have been there and seen how beautiful she was. My heart is still full from the celebration. In part because I have witnessed most of the journey from right about its beginning, throughout its evolution up until the wedding. Of course marriage is just another beginning. October was the bud to what might be a beautiful love story, inshallah. I chose a photo of autumn flowers because even when the world gets colder, beauty can still emerge. I have a good feeling about that journey. Here is to November and all that it has to usher in. 

September was an apocalyptic month: the pandemic surged on, heatwaves became the norm, and wildfires messed up the air quality that on some days the sky looked like a filter from Instagram. A turbulent month, I dare say! Despite all the transitions it brought, it was not all bad. It had its magic as well.

After months of agonizing over the future, I decided it was time to hop off the academic train and transition to industry. With two works making their way through the publication process, I have decided to hang my pen for now. I am actively recruiting for full time industry roles. My job search strives to maximize more of an applied experience in using data to drive evidence-based decision-making in high-impact settings. 

It is a new academic year and I am now back to taking good old problem-set classes. One of the takeaways from my COVID-19 project was my desire to fill some gaps in my data science skills. To achieve this, I have enrolled in MS&E 212 (Combinatorial Optimization), MS&E 327 (Causal Inference), MS&E 454 (Decision Analysis Seminar), and STATS 202 (Data Mining and Analysis). I will admit, I had missed the thrill of solving a good Math problem. I am also grateful that I get to work with two of my favorite collaborators of all time, MC and CW, in these classes. 

Last month I shared that some of the questions at the top of my mind are: how have I adapted to the constant loss that has characterized my life for as long as I have lived? What have I gained and what have I lost as a result of that adaptation? September revealed to me that one of the ways I have maladapted to loss is through silencing my voice. This omission of my truths does not work well with my stubborn personality. September challenged me to explore further the delicate balance between collective interests and personal interests. It is my wish that someday I can master advancing collective utility without self-silencing, and honor my personal truths without perpetuating oppressive structures.

As seasons transition from summer to fall, I am getting settled into my new home. I offer some initial reflections on the apartment in an article on my blog, The House Husband. There is not a shortage of changes and transitions, but I am learning to focus on placing one foot in front of another. With the pandemic still going strong, my beloved Botswana descending into irreversible chaos, and the world as I knew it flipped on its head, all a person can do is place one foot in front of another. I am still encouraged by the miracle of metamorphosis. I believe that a beautiful butterfly can emerge out of this chrysalis. Here is  to fall and the promise of a harvest. We have sowed the seeds, we have worked the soil, and now we await the harvest. 

My favorite thing about August was the many one-on-one picnics with my friends there were. I will always choose 10 one-on-one picnics with my favorite people than 1 picnic with all of them. 

On the 5th day of August, Bambi's spirit transitioned on to the next dimension. I was reminded once again of T.S. Eliot's Journey of the Magi, one of the most timeless poems I have come across in my brief life. "This: were we led all that way for Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly, we had evidence and no doubt." Such comforting words if we meditate on them for long enough, but the pain of first hearing the news is forever imprinted in the memory of my consciousness. It is also a perfect poem - as it always is - to capture the  upcoming transitions in my life. 

My team and I concluded our Covid-19 project and are currently looking to have our work published. It is not impossible to imagine I might pursue doctoral studies at some point. As I reflect in a blog post, working on this project reminded me of my insatiable curiosity and the pleasure I derive from attempting to solve problems that have potential for significant impact. I am still trying to figure out if my curiosity will be more satisfied in industry or in academia, but I am actively recruiting for Product Management and (Quantitative) Business Analyst roles. I have decided to postpone my PhD plans for now.

As I near the official end of my Stanford Seed Internship, I lament the ways the Covid-19 pandemic has disrupted our lives. No amount of technology can substitute the experience of working in a particular location. Now I know that working remotely is not for me. I love interacting with people at my place of work and learning through my continuous exposure to them. I also prefer to have a clear separation between my home and work lives. If you add a time difference of 9 hours, then one can forget about that clear separation. The challenges of a cross-timezone remote internship notwithstanding, I continue to learn from and be inspired by the work being done at Tsoga Africa. The shared vision of collaborating to build and sustain resilient entrepreneurial ecosystems means I shall remain a part of the Tsoga family way beyond the official Seed Internship. 

This month I continued to reflect on the role of fear in my life. I have concluded that the overwhelming emotion in my life is not fear, it is grief. So a question that has been on my mind for most of August is: how have I adapted to the constant loss that has characterized my life for as long as I have lived? What have I gained and what have I lost as a result of that adaptation? I can write books on that - all of my 19 journals address these questions in one way or another - but I will simply say overall I am impressed with the ways I continue to grow in this regard. The key is contained in my favorite quote of all time: "O my soul, do not aspire to immortal life but exhaust the limits of the possible." Loss and death are part of the journey, but the challenge is to love in each moment as best as possible that when it is gone, I would have not a single regret for that moment. That is the new direction I am directing my reflections over the next few time periods. 

I intend to graduate in December instead of delaying to June 2021 as I was already planning. Kicking the can to June is aspiring for immortal life. Life is made of transient moments - though they might be timeless. Extending certain moments because they feel safer, as I have been learning, serves nobody in the long run. It simply delays the arrival of new moments that would also enrich my life. I am learning to allow beautiful moments to end when their time comes and to embrace new moments, with all of their uncertainty. There will be growing pains with each transition, but the hope is they are all a part of the adventure. And when I ultimately die, as I will (sorry Urmi), I hope to look back at my moments with a content heart: knowing I did the best I could with the gifts I was endowed with. I draw comfort in the memories I have of Bambi, of how he was a great big brother. We exhausted the limits of the possible, and now I let his spirit return home. 

As for me, if it is willed, I look forward to my next adventure beginning February 2021. Where will life lead me next? Hopefully to Austin, but I would also be open to Atlanta, New York, or Boston. This past month I have bid farewell to a few of my close friends and a few more intend on leaving the San Francisco Bay Area soon. This is the perfect time, therefore, to move on to new frontiers. If I remain in the Bay Area, then I am definitely moving away from the South Bay. Here is to September!

Covid-19 and racially charged violence continued on in July, but at least it was summer. It was a month filled with a lot of picnics in the nearby park, dinner parties, and afternoons in the swimming pool. Yes, I have finally learned to swim. I now realize that I struggled to learn to swim because in that area of my life I was not teachable. My previous swimming instructors had tried to start by teaching me to float in the water first, which has always failed because - I am convinced - my bones are denser than water. But with support from my friends and my "try not to drown" method, I am proud to say I can now swim some. There is still a lot to learn of course.

I lament the summer travels I am missing out on this year because of the pandemic. But because I could not jet off around the world, I finally walked across the Golden Gate bridge with one of my favorite travel companions. It was breathtakingly beautiful. I fell in love with the San Francisco Bay Area once more. I suppose sometimes we set off looking for beauty elsewhere, when it was always in front of us. 

I hoped to reflect on my hopes for the next decade of my life in July, but ended up reflecting on the grief that my spirit holds instead. I suppose to decide on where in the world I want to set my roots and with whom, I must first understand how past losses have shaped my current approach to life. The traumas I have undergone have pushed me towards conservatism in how I live my life. This conservatism opposes my risk-seeking nature. So far I know one of the key components of a good life is to be surrounded by a loving community. How will I align my need for community with my professional ambitions?

Speaking of professional ambitions, I am loving my internship with Tsoga Africa. On the one hand, I am sad the pandemic has trapped me in California and precluded me from participating in this internship in-person. I am a people person and love to collaborate directly with individuals. That aside, I am excited by all the ways Tsoga is transforming the entrepreneurial landscape in Botswana: from commercializing the innovative research coming out of the Botswana International University of Science and Technology to facilitating the launch of a platform to enable entrepreneurs in the creative industries to get their work to consumers, and everything in between. It feels good to be a part of a mission-driven company, that aligns with my values and - in true Tsoga philosophy - with my inner dot. This partnership will last beyond this internship.

In as far as the Covid-19 project goes, my team and I made significant strides in incorporating costs and implementation constraints in the modified SIR model we built to understand the rise in covid cases in Botswana from truck drivers. My personal motivation shifted from hoping to assist Botswana in particular, but capturing this problem more generally. The hope is that our work will prove insightful to key decision makers in countries that are seeking to address this problem. I was also excited to find out we got featured by my department in the School of Engineering at Stanford.

Overall, July was a great month! If the world is going to burn down, then I might as well spend time with people I consider family, working on meaningful projects that have the potential to make humanity better, and listening to a lot of great music. One of my favorite composers, Thomas Bergersen, dropped Chapter I of his Humanity project and breathtaking does not begin to describe it. If you can, check it out. Wings, Mountain Call, and Beautiful People are my favorites. 

Farewell to June. We started this month amid protests seeking justice for the recent fatal acts of police brutality and white supremacy against black people in the United States. George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and many who have been murdered since the beginning of the month. While the pessimist in me was not shocked by this, I remain sad that this is expectable. I got to reflect on my blackness with my friend and YouTuber Niharika Talwar (aka AwesomeGlosome). The interview - which had to be redacted for brevity - comes in two parts: part 1 and part 2. 

Meanwhile, countries and organizations around the world continued to think through how to recover from covid-19 related disruptions to their normal operations. The UK - with Boris Johnson's hard to follow updates - provided some comic relief (WTF is 1 meter plus?),  and the US -with the structural racism that exposes black people and marginalized communities to the worst of covid - shattered my heart to a million pieces, again. Do not even get me started on my very own Botswana. What exactly is the plan with the Economic Recovery Plan?

These environmental factors inspired me to reflect on the role of institutions in safeguarding our interests, especially at times of heightened vulnerability such as now. What do our institutions owe us? I hope to put some of these reflections into a blog post in either July or August.

This month marked the end of Spring Quarter at Stanford and the beginning of the Summer Quarter. With the end of Spring, so did our project class on covid-19, MS&E 433. My project team and I attempted to contribute  towards the covid-19 response efforts in Botswana. We looked at the growing threat of covid transmission through truck drivers transporting essential goods between countries in Southern Africa.  We shared our preliminary insights in this video. 

With a new team, we have started refining the SIR model and incorporating the cost of the intervention strategies into our covid dynamics optimization. I expect to reflect on my experience with this covid project in August or September.  It is thrilling to I know I am in the right field. Is a PhD in my destiny?

June also marked the beginning of my remote internship with Tsoga Africa, a company whose mission resonates with mine. Their mission is to use collaborative action to design, develop, and manufacture locally, the critical products and services needed to grow and diversify the economy of Botswana. My role, which is self-designed based on the value I believe I can offer, is that of a Decision Analyst intern. I am using my training in decision and risk analysis to help them through their due diligence process as they consider strategic partnerships for their work.

It is such an opportune time to work with Tsoga, as The Great Lockdown and the continuing racial tension in the United States remind me of why I intend to return to the African continent sooner rather than later. Of course the question of the exact timing to return is always a difficult one. I was fortunate to reflect on it, amongst other things, with my brother Avthar in a Facebook Live conversation this month. I always enjoy picking his brain, and I think you might too. Check out his weekly newsletter and consider subscribing to stay tuned to his updates. 

Until the anticipated return, one still has to contribute in whatever small way he can towards building our country. Working with Tsoga is one way, and the other way is my annual collaboration with the Madigele family to honor the memory of Batho Madigele. This year, in partnership with Amy Mokgweetsi (of Amy's Fashion Atelier), we did so by donating 100 face masks to Mookami Junior Secondary School in Kanye (BW). In Goodhope (BW), we donated  face masks to their primary school plus sponsored the erection of a sign board with important covid-19 prevention messages. 

Batho taught us that no amount of adversity should stop academic excellence. The world has missed out on his greatness. But  with these masks, we do not want it to miss out on the greatness of Botswana's young. I commend all the other nation builders, who like us, have donated masks to ensure students from underprivileged backgrounds also can return to school safely, and with their dignity. We build a nation by investing in its future.  

On a more personal front, I continued to reflect on the tension between personal healing and communal healing from trauma. We also welcomed summer by celebrating one of our friends' graduation and a poolside picnic. No covid fashioned against our summer shall prosper. Until next month, remember to stay safe. Covid-19, racism, and incompetent leadership continue to threaten our wellbeing and future. Stay vigilant!