Summer Living - The Path to Independence

Published 5 July 2018

This is the last summer of my undergraduate career. This has many implications. Assuming I will still graduate a year from today, it means this is the last summer I will have "off". Since September 2015, I have continuously kept on going from project to project without rest. Often times, I was juggling numerous things at a go. This summer I am still doing something, but in most ways I am thinking of it as my summer "off". It is the summer where I reset. Although I am not claiming any divine powers, I parallel it to Christ's Last Supper as taught in the Christian religion and faith. To understand this parallel would require you to understand the great betrayal of my life, but that is a topic for another day. As with the Last Supper, my life will never be the same after this last summer. So I am taking this summer to reflect on where my life is going and develop some hobbies in preparation for a possible life after Stanford. 

The first decision I made was to live off campus this summer. I am doing research under the guidance and mentorship of Professor Pam Hinds and Tim Weiss, PhD and Postdoc, in the Management Science and Engineering Department at Stanford University. The catalyst for this decision was receiving an undesirable housing assignment at Stanford: A 2 room double at Governor's Corner. The past two years I have lived in a single occupancy dorm room and I loved it. The idea of having a roommate unsettled me and sent me looking for housing from Menlo Park and Palo Alto to Mountain View and East Palo Alto. I had also reached my limit with the overvalued dining hall food and wanted out of the meal plan scam. After checking out a few places, I ended up deciding to stay in a spacious house in East Palo Alto with 3 house mates. It was not an easy decision as there was a co-operative community in Palo-Alto that I was tempted to live in.

The beauty of living off campus is in the separation of home and work. Although this is a bit of lie as I work at home and also do home stuff at work, so the separation is more imagined than real. Nonetheless, my favorite part is in the commute to and from work. I could bike to and from work, but I recognized an opportunity in using the public transit system. It is a great opportunity to reconnect with my hobby of reading. When growing up in Botswana, I used to read on my way to and from school. I was even known as the crazy nerd. My entire commute is about an hour one way, and it has been a great reading time so far. In the first two weeks, I have read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and inGenius by Tina Seelig. More than half the time, I always reach my bus stop just as the bus is leaving, and have to sprint to the next stop and hope to reach there before the bus. So far I have always succeeded. So most morning, I even get some exercise in. Who needs a gym when you can outrun your bus? My driver and co-passengers know me now as the sprinter from Africa. I am a part of some community. 

The best part of my summer living situation is feeding myself. Three weeks ago I made a quick trip to Botswana and Kenya, and upon returning from there I brought spices and maize meal. Each evening after work, I have been cooking these meals using my memory of food from home. I have made phaleche, morogo, and beef stew; and matlebekwane (also matlebelekwane: dumplings cooked simultaneously with beef). I have also stumbled upon new dishes, for example The Taponama (potatoes cooked simultaneously with beef, tried it with chicken and it was a disaster). Each night I have been going to sleep with a happy tummy. I always make sure I save part of my dinner for lunch the next day. For breakfast, I either have scrambled eggs with bread, or corn flakes, AND at least 3 fruits. At any given time, I stock apples, some citrus fruit, bananas, and some grape. There is something filling about cooking for oneself. I have never been happier in my life. I will add my photos as I begin to add some Value Added Tax.

In my last post I talked about the reflection journey I am on regarding love. A part of that includes learning to love myself as I want to be loved. It includes pausing and listening to my heart, to living in the present moment. To learning to be self-sustaining, so that when I let people into my life, it is not out of some selfish yearning, but because the life experience is richer in community. When we over-depend on others, we end up making choices that are not consistent with love. I am hopeful this summer, I will learn through reading, cooking, washing the dishes, and engaging with strangers on the bus, how to love me and make sure I can still go to bed feeling happy despite all the issues that seek to derail my future that I face presently.