Random Musings: On Storytelling and How We Live Our Lives

The power of a story that is told well, cannot be overstated. Great romances started with a powerful story. Wars began and ended with a compelling narrative. Whole civilizations and world views, including our faith traditions, lie on a foundation of detailed and comprehensive storytelling. Our very lives, and how we live them, are in themselves stories unfolding.

Each year around my birthday I like to reflect on 3 questions. Who am I? Who do I pretend to be? Who do I want to be? These questions seek to ask, respectively, what story am I living now, what story do I want others to think I am living now, and what story do I aspire to live. It has proven to be a useful exercise in identifying areas where I’m misaligned with the purpose of my life. 

As with every storytelling tradition, there are often scripts that are used to simplify storytelling. Some scripts tell us stories ought to have a beginning, a middle, and an end: context, conflict, climax. In our lives there are many scripts. Scripts are good because they allow us to focus on writing beautiful stories instead of worrying about the structure by building on the great work and discoveries of those who came before us. They can also be traps, if we choose the wrong script to tell our stories. Imagine if your life’s story were a comedy and you tried to write it with the script of a tragedy. 

The professional arc script is one example of a script that most of us are using to write (and evaluate) the story of our lives. It goes something like: one is born, goes to school to get good grades, get a comfortably paying job that takes up their time, and retires with some pension. If one chooses this script, they don’t need to try and figure out what is the meaning of our lives. They can focus on refining how they want to fulfill this script. But if this script is not for you, then you’ll be trapped feeling like a failure because you’re being forced, by yourself or external pressures, to a path that does not feel true to you. 

There are many such scripts. Often times we do not just follow one script. A lot of people pick and choose elements that resonate with the various dimensions of our lives from different scripts. Part of my annual reflection on the stories I tell and the scripts on which those are built, is also to understand where I get those scripts from and what motivations whoever created and disseminated that script had. 

What scripts are you using to live and share the story of your life? How well do these scripts fit with the essence of what you know the story of your life to be? How do you try to reconcile any misalignment, if any? Where did you get these scripts from? How well do you know and trust the motivation of whoever created the script and whoever disseminated the script you base your life on? How can you modify existing scripts to write and live the best story of your life? 

Happy reflection and may we all write great stories, such that when our time here is done, we can bow out with content spirits and fulfilled souls.